This & That

Quitting Facebook

Happy New Year, everyone!

Time to turn the clock on 2010 and embrace 2011. Do we still say two thousand? Are we ready to say twenty eleven? No one ever said one thousand nine hundred. Or nineteen hundred. Well, except at graduation. I do remember being the class of nineteen hundred and ninety-five.

All right, all right. I’m clearly not serious about my resolution to stop rambling at the beginning of my posts—beating around the bush, as they say. Speaking of resolutions, I can’t wait to share with you my series on resolutions. Look for it next week.

Who am I kidding? You’re not reading this on the weekend. Who reads blogs on the weekend? Saturdays are for Kingsbury and Baldacci. Maybe James Patterson, who probably writes a book every Saturday.

One of the most common New Year’s resolutions is to make better use of our time, and one I’ll address in the series. So we look around and investigate what’s eating up our time.

TV? Probably not. There’s not much good on. And what we do watch we’ve DVR’d and so we skip through the commercials, gaining about a third of the time back.

Movies? They have gotten longer. We can access them more easily on Netflix. But then, we’ve saved time not driving to the video store, walking up and down the aisles searching for something worthwhile among the trash—like a garbage picker, really.

Facebook? Ah, yes, yes. What did we ever do before Facebook? Some of you are wondering. And some of you are thinking of quitting. But if like me, you’re not, then you’re going to need some kind of response to those who say they’re quitting and in a round-about way suggest you should do the same.

Here are some ways you could respond:

  • I really don’t have anything else to do. I’m glad Facebook entered my life, because I used to just sit and stare at the walls. Now I have deeply interesting and engaging conversations with people I barely knew in high school.
  • Good, I was planning on de-friending you. That would have been awkward.
  • You should try Twitter. It’s a lot less commitment.
  • Are you planning on planting a real farm with the valuable knowledge and skills you honed tilling the ground on Farmville?
  • How will I know when you take a shower?
  • If I walk up to you in person and poke you, you should just simply poke me back. No words need to be exchanged. Just a poke. In fact, we could do it all day until it becomes like a Three Stooges sketch.
  • How will I know if your relationship status changes?
  • Are you going back to Myspace? Maybe I’ll look for you there.
  • If you’re not on Facebook, how will you RSVP for my Super Bowl party?
  • Do you mind if I send you an email every month with all my status updates just to keep you in the loop? Do you even remember how to use email? Is my Hotmail account still active?
  • Have you been recruited into the real mafia?
  • Most importantly: how will you know when I write a new blog post?

Facebook can indeed be a big time stealer, especially with all the games. But it doesn’t have to be. As with anything, moderation is key.

You can also redeem Facebook. Remember, there are real people behind status updates and photos and even game notifications. Real people God made in his image. Real people we can invite into conversation. Real people we can pray for.

So you’re taking a shower? I hope it’s hot and rejuvenating or relaxing or whatever you want it to be.

Just like 2011. In this new year may …

the amazing grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, the extravagant love of God, the intimate friendship of the Holy Spirit, be with you. —2 Corinthians 13:14

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