I keep little Snickers bars in my office. Not the fun size ones. The minis are not nearly as fun. But they do hit the spot after lunch or for a post-rehearsal snack. I have the regular ones and the newer almond variety, which reminds me a lot of Mars bars.
I always liked those as a kid, but they were smaller than the average candy bar. Almonds, I’ve come to learn, are more expensive than peanuts, which likely explains the difference in volume. To a kid, the size of a candy bar is as important as its taste. Big Hunk was altogether confusing, since it was longer yet appeared to be skinnier. Plus, it wasn’t chocolate. Reese’s peanut butter cups were an admirable choice, since it was like getting two candies. Mounds and Almond Joy were too small, though. Is coconut more expensive than almonds?
Those Rollo chews seemed to go on forever, like the oil jar of the widow Elisha had cook him some dinner. Or was it Elijah? I always get the two confused. Much like the two Sauls, one of whom threw spears at David and another whose name was changed to the rhyming Paul, which, I imagine, was meant to make the name change easier on his mother.
Come to think of it, I never knew why Sarah was so upset about Abraham’s second wife, since she had another husband in Abram, who may have been married to another woman named Sarai.
Wow, how’d I get there. Back to important matters.
As I was saying about the Snickers minis in my office, I have regular and almond. While I like the regular ones, I love the almond ones. But I think: I should really ration these, or I’ll be left with just the plain ones, which would have been fine had I never discovered the almond ones. But then I counter: I’ve been riding my bike a lot and I’d hate to get hit by a car and be there lying on the asphalt, death impending, and thinking, Why, oh, why didn’t I just eat all the almond ones?!
I could just leave the almond to my kids, whom I really should be thinking about when knocking on heaven’s door. But then, they might be comforted by any sort of chocolate. I could just leave those Hershey Kisses. That might be the worst chocolate to be wrapped up in foil. They even wave a little, white flag, saying, just eat us already, we know we’re disgusting, put us out of our misery.
So what would you do? I might just eat all the almond ones and buy more. Maybe even get the fun size ones. I do burn over a thousand calories riding my bike. If I meet an untimely death, my kids will know I lived it up eating fun size Snickers Almond.